Father’s day ruined by the mother

20 Jun

Today is Father’s day in both the US and the UK. (unlike mother’s day which is on two separate days, let alone months)  I wanted to call my daddy (yes I’m the type of girl who still wants to call her father, daddy)  But I’m in the middle of a horrible family fight with my mother at the moment, that sadly, I couldn’t even stand to hear her voice enough to call him.

The day I called my mother to tell her that I was pregnant I also let a few things out about how I feel she’s treating my sister at the moment.  For those of you just now popping in my sister (and best friend all though she’s 10 years my senior) was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis) back in January of this month.

I wouldn’t say that my mother has EVER been a good one.  I recognize that half of who I am today is because of my sister and the fact that she raised me when my mother wouldn’t.  One quarter of me is who I am by witnessing how my mother treated us and doing everything in the opposite manner.  But if I’m being honest the other Quarter is who I am because I have so much IN COMMON with her.  There in lies the problem.  I have such high hopes for her.

So anywho back to the problem at hand, I was expressing to my mother that I was concerned she wasn’t giving enough of herself to my sister emotionally.  That my sister desperately wants a mother who will ask her how her day is and how she’s getting on with her MS.  Instead all my mother does when she calls is talk about her life and why it’s sucking at the moment.  At one point during the conversation I was having with her she shamelessly compared her life (the fact that she’s doesn’t have job, yet gets by perfectly fine in her nice big house) to my sister having MS.  Actually saying my sister is the one that needs to stop being so selfish and that she’s not the only one with problems.  PROBLEMS?!  I would say MS is more than a PROBLEM!!  What will it take her to see how bad she’s actually doing?  Becoming paralyzed and being stuck in a wheelchair.  She already lost some feeling in her left leg the other week causing her to fall and fracture her foot (Bless the Lord it’s come back again though) does she need more than that?  The selfishness! I mean honestly!

My sister wrote her a very long and heart-felt e-mail expressing her desire to want a deeper relationship with her own mother.  My mom’s response?

“I am truly tired of this drama… Do you truly think you are the only person struggling with life difficulties at this moment…my trust with my life with you is not there.”

Can we say self-indulgent, over dramatic and completely immature?  *sigh*


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4 Responses to “Father’s day ruined by the mother”

  1. tenpounds June 22, 2010 at 6:48 pm #

    Oh my word – she sounds like one scary woman. It is awful having a mum who constantly fails to behave like a mother really should. You keep hoping that she might respond sensitively this time, even when the evidence keeps coming back negative again and again. Hard to bear.

  2. Amanda June 21, 2010 at 12:10 pm #

    Yeah, that sounds pretty familiar here too. I’m sorry to hear that you have to deal with that kind of attitude. And your sister is lucky to have a sister who cares for her, even if her mother can’t be bothered to put her first for once. I wish you two all the best.

  3. Ginger June 21, 2010 at 3:27 am #

    so sorry to hear that your mom is being selfish. it is really not too hard to see that her struggles can be changed where as your sister will always have MS. *hugs* to you and your sister

    (ps i know your name is not missy, dont ask me why i put it, was having a very tired night lol)

  4. Michelle June 21, 2010 at 1:16 am #

    Your mom sounds a lot like mine. I’m sorry she is putting you through that.

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